


Cigarette Smoke

by ElZacharie



Series: Drabbles [19]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Disabled Character, Inspired by Real Events, Theta is Autistic, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5435726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElZacharie/pseuds/ElZacharie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing a brother is hard. Losing a father is harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cigarette Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> Adam: Alpha  
> Ethan: Epsilon  
> Beth: Beta  
> Silus: Sigma  
> Theodore: Theta  
> Nikolas: North Dakota
> 
> Theta is based upon myself when my father died. Epsilon is based on myself currently. Some minor things were, obviously, changed for story flow/to fit the characters.
> 
> This is inspired by something that actually happened in my life. There is no happy ending to this. I came up with the idea to write something sad after betaing agent-fluff's Road to Heaven, and I began having flashbacks to my father's first memorial.

He's been smoking again.

The faint wisps of the dying cigarette still hung in the air, a disgusting smell that always burned Ethan's throat. Adam was coughing loudly, trying to hide the evidence from his twin brother, but it was no use. He'd have figured it out sooner or later.

"I thought I threw away all your cigarettes," Ethan grumbles, checking Adam's mattress for a lump where he could have hid the pack. "You're gonna send yourself to an early grave."

The left side of Adam's face doesn't work anymore, but that doesn't stop him from trying to smile with that side, to flail a limp and useless arm onto his shoulder. "I don't care," is all he can manage to slur out.

A year ago, Adam's wife, Beth, had died in an explosion while shipping out to another planet. Adam didn't take the news well at all; he'd become an alcoholic, spending most his time at rundown bars and leaving his children to their many godparents. One night, he'd come home especially fucked up, though he'd seemed just fine to his eldest son, Silus, who'd been home at the time. It wasn't until he'd fallen in the bathroom, convulsing and incomprehensible, did anyone realize how bad it was.

As it turned out, he'd had a stroke that night, leaving his left side almost completely useless. Adam's problems had only gotten worse from then on-- a piece of his skull had to be removed and then replaced later on due to swelling in his brain, suffering several more minor strokes afterwards. He refused to give up his addictions, often skipping physical therapy to smoke or drink in his bathroom.

After all the trouble he'd caused for them, the rest of his family dumped him in a nursing home to rot. Not even his children liked visiting him anymore. Theodore, the youngest, had to practically be dragged there, and refused to look his father in the eye, no matter how much Ethan begged him to.

Ethan glares at Adam, pulling out the cigarette pack and pocketing them. "You can't keep doing this, buddy. You're just gonna make things worse."

Adam stares at him blankly for a moment before lifting a shaking hand and flipping him off.

He's not in the mood for his brother's antics anymore.

"I'm bringing Theo over tomorrow," Ethan says, moving around the room to pick up after his brother.

"Really? He wants to see me?" Adam's hoarse voice is hopeful, so much that it pains Ethan to think about how his son has come to blame his father for his problems. "Do you think he'll let me hug him?"

"Yeah," he lies. "He seemed pretty excited."

Adam doesn't stop smiling even after Ethan leaves for the day.

\---

"Ethan? I'm sorry, I think we're gonna have to cancel for today," came Nikolas's tired voice over the phone. "My car broke down-- I can't pick up Theo from school, so he has to take the bus. It'll be after visiting hours by the time we get there."

"That's fine," he mutters, staring down at his paperwork. "I already texted Adam saying I couldn't come in today, either. My boss is having me work late on this project. Just make sure he calls him by tomorrow, okay? His dad really misses him."

Ethan can almost hear Theodore's godfather sigh. "I'll try. You know he has trouble remembering things. Send Adam my love, okay? See you."

\---

"I called him!" Theodore screamed beyond his tears, rocking back in forth in Nikolas's arms, clutching his hair. "I called him when I got home, I wanted to tell him I loved him! He can't be dead!"

Ethan can't speak, watching Theodore's tantrum with a faraway look in his eyes. The orderlies had found that Adam died of a heart attack in his sleep-- at least he'd passed away peacefully, Ethan thought to himself.

"He thought I hated him!" the little boy shrieked, rocking even harder, despite his godfather's arms holding him tightly to his chest. "I don't hate him! I never hated him! I want my daddy back!"

Nikolas gives Ethan a pleading look, asking him to say something, anything, that could help his nephew. His throat is too dry to speak.

\---

Ethan learns that Theodore doesn't like crying at funerals.

Even during the memorial, the little boy is completely stonefaced, body tensed and closed off. He doesn't hug back when the others hold him, only responds in terse, short phrases when his siblings or family members try to speak to him. The moment the ceremony ends, Theo is the first out of the door, clutching a rolled up program close to his chest.

Ethan avoids the crowds and follows after his nephew, his head spinning. He finds the boy sitting on the front step of the building, staring blankly out into the foggy afternoon. Neither of them say anything as the older man pulls a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and pulls one out with his lips, lighting it with a shitty zippo lighter that takes several attempts to get a spark.

"You're gonna kill yourself with those," Theo whispers.

"I don't care," is all Ethan can say.


End file.
